“Piece of shit,” mutters Kris Jenner, gazing into her phone. On tonight’s Season 10 Finale (!!!) of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Jenner (along with the audience) discovers something that the paparazzi has been in on for a while. Scott Disick, erstwhile partner to Kourtney Kardashian and father of her three children, has abandoned his brood to pursue horizontal adventures with a much younger woman.

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It’s a narrative we’ve seen play out time and again, as the historically antiquated notion of what makes a successful nuclear family slowly disintegrates: the husband/father figure, terrified by the responsibilities of parenting, abandons his wife and runs for the hills. Of course, if Kourtney were the hard-partying strayer of her little coop; if Kourtney were the one to leave her very young children with Scott and take off for greener pastures, there would be a national uproar. Pundits would ponder whether Kourtney’s abandonment would scar the poor little Kardashian-Disicks for life. Gender is a horrific abandoned theme park!

If this really is the end of Scott’s tenure on KUWTK, I’m genuinely going to miss him. He knew how to push everyone’s buttons, had no patience for the rigorous blandness of the perfectly calibrated reality program he found himself amongst, and clashed fabulously with Kris. Also, one time he shaved Kourtney’s pussy for her, because she was too pregnant to be able to do it herself. Romance!


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