Rush Limbaugh Offers His Huma Abedin Theory, and It’s Pretty AwfulS

We have a new contender for the ignominious title “Worst Perspective on Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner’s Marriage,” and of course, of course, OF COURSE this contender’s name is Rush Limbaugh, an outrage glutton who’s perhaps most famous for doing all of his radio broadcasts through his anus into a gold-plated phallus. Very edgy stuff, like Ace Ventura edgy.

Drawing from his desiccated well of knowledge about Muslims, marriage, and private interactions between Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin, Limbaugh concluded that the reason Abedin seems so maddeningly tolerant of her husband dispersing dick picks with all the generosity of a sex-addicted Easter Bunny is because “Huma is a Muslim” and, as all of Limbaugh’s faithful listeners are certainly aware, “Muslim women don’t have any power, right?”

Right?? I don’t know, Rush Limbaugh. You’re the anus-talker holding the the giant gold phallus — you tell us whether Huma Abedin’s faith prevents her from reprimanding her husband for Instagramming his penis with captions like, “Penis, at dusk, semi-hard — look how shiny!” Limbaugh went on to sketch out the full illogic behind his ramblings:

Huma is a Muslim. In that regard, Weiner ought to be able to get away with anything. Muslim women don’t have any power, right? Muslim women are beheaded, stoned, whatever if they drive, have affairs. In certain countries, Muslim women, if they’re raped, are killed – it’s their fault.

This seemed to escalate quickly, didn’t it? We started out talking about a horny mayoral candidate in New York whose wife seems unusually tolerant of his exhibitionism and somehow wound up addressing the repression of Muslim women around the world. It’s almost like Rush Limbaugh is — and I know this is going to sound crazy — just saying whatever he thinks will sound most incendiary to, like, attract a certain kind of disaffected conservative listener to his radio program.

You, probably a more rational news-gatherer, might be tempted to engage with Limbaugh’s logical gymnastics by arguing that, for starters, Anthony Weiner isn’t Muslim, so how the hell can he be repressing his wife according to the tenets of a faith he doesn’t belong to? Or you might point out that Huma Abedin was, as an aide to Hillary Clinton, a powerful political figure in her own right. You can do those things if you want, but just remember — there are a ton of people roaming the country in their cars, listening to talk radio, and thinking thoughts like, “Gee, Rush really made a good point there. I hadn’t thought of it like that. Also, I believe all of our communications technology came from a single UFO that crashed in Roswell back in the 50s and that the government is trying to take away my guns, because critical thinking frightens me.”

Rush Limbaugh: ‘Muslim Women’ Like Huma ‘Don’t Have Any Power,’ So Weiner Can Get Away With Anything [Mediate]

Image via Getty, Ethan Miller