Robert Pattinson is Face of Dior Homme, But What About L'eau de R.Patz?

Robert Pattinson has just announced as the new impossibly perfect face of Dior Homme, joining Jude Law as one of Dior's professional smolderers. Advertisements for fragrances are always iffy— linking scent to some sort of untouchable image of wealth and/or sex always results in some freaky 30 second clip made by over-caffinated ad people in a conference room somewhere (remember Britney's Curious?)

The ads haven't been released yet, but everyone's in a kerfuffle about the preview at last night's Dior party, in which R.Patz appears to be doing his job, i.e. smoldering into the camera whilst adjusting his skinny tie, letting someone undress him, and smoldering some more.

But just being the face of a men's fragrance isn't enough. Rabid R.Patz fans want more. "MOOAAARRR", they scream into the abyss that is their Robert Pattinson-themed Tumblrs. And if one day, old Rob decides to answer their fervent prayers, maybe his scent will smell like this:

L'eau de Chiseled R.Patz Jaw explores the subtleties of the enigma that is Robert Pattison. With essences of e-cigarettes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and rich tones of Hufflepuff, L'eau de Chiseled R.Patz Jaw will make you shimmer like Edward Cullen in a ray of sunlight and leaves a silage of teenage swoon and inexplicable hatred for Kristen Stewart.

[USA Today]

Image via Getty