Rattlesnake Rodeo Sounds Like the Worst Thing Ever

Today in “just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should,” it’s the Rattlesnake Rodeo—or, more accurately, the Rattlesnake Pile of Snakes Just Kind of Lying There—in Opp, Alabama. The annual event includes snake races, snake handling, snake milking, and snake touching.

But most importantly, according to the organizers, “the event educates people on what to do if they ever encounter such a snake.”

Hey, I have an idea for what to do if, for some strange reason, you find yourself SURROUNDED BY PILES AND PILES OF ANNOYED SNAKES:

1. Don’t pick the snakes up.

2. Don’t put a whole bunch of them in a garbage can.

3. Don’t make the snakes race.

4. Don’t milk the snakes of their venom.

5. Don’t let random ladies pet the snakes.

6. Basically don’t do ANY OF THE STUFF THAT THEY DO AT THE RATTLESNAKE RODEO.

The Rattlesnake Rodeo is “one of the top tourist attractions” in Alabama.