If there's anything more annoying than full-grown adults going out of their way to celebrate their spice-scant love on Valentine's Day, it's full-grown adults going out of their way to celebrate Anti-Valentine's Day. Really though, it's cool hang out with some single friends on February 14 if that's how you do, but fuck the proactive Anti-Valentine's Day stuff.
Nonetheless, it's a popular and lucrative trend, and the internet is chock full of all sorts of activities to make sure anyone can wallow in the purported acridity of not having love on Valentine's Day. Here's a few of the more ridiculous ways that people are celebrating Anti-Valentine's Day:
Anti-Valentine's Day Nail Art—For those who wear their heart on their finger tips
Beware, these subtle and legitimately cute nail designs. Maybe it's the bitter spinster in me (it is) who knows I will never have the talent or patience necessary to do cool nail art, but why put all that effort into a half-centimeter broken heart when you can instead create a half-centimeter fire-breathing Chimera or something badass like that?!
Anti Valentine's Day Candy—The bittersweet-toothed need to eat too
Alright, we all know that the most important part of Valentine's day is the slightly up-marked heart-shaped candy. So you do not have a sweetheart to get you candy, or an office reception bowl of candy to swipe or a small child to steal a homemade Valentine's mailbox from (while yelling, "FLEE TINY BABE, FOR YOU KNOW NOT THE DESPAIR OF A LOVE NOR THAT OF LOVE LOST. BE FREE, YOU BEAUTIFUL LITTLE FOOL") you can always invest in some anti-Valentine's candy hearts that have silly phrases like "Get Lost" and "Bite Me" on it. And the best part? You don't have to share with anyone!
Anti-Valentine's Day Playlists—Because apparently Fleetwood Mac's Rumors just isn't enough (it is)
A quick google search of "anti-Valentine's Day playlist" probably brings up more Kelly Clarkson than one can handle in a sitting/at all ever. We all have our broken-heart playlists and our IDGAF playlists, and maybe a one that's mix of the two, but seriously I would never wish upon anyone the type of sad loneliness in which 'Love Stinks' is an enjoyable song.
Ex-focused Retail—Everyday items to help you dwell on your failed relationships
We've all seen some kind of ex-related gag gift, whether at a Spencer's Gifts or at an Urban Outfitters (expensive Spencer's). Retail items that play up the bitter/crazy ex-lover trope can be all sorts of uncomfortable—case in point: the Ex Knife Set. It's knife set with a holder that is shaped like a human so that when you put your knives back, it's like you're stabbing a person. UM, WHAT. Sure it's a smirk-worthy item when it's online and far away, but in general, it seems like a safer choice to leave the homicidal tendencies in a good game of Fuck, Marry, Kill.