Susan A. Patton, a.k.a. Princeton Mom, a.k.a. young college-educated women's newest well-intentioned agony aunt (as in, we're in agony whenever she opens her mouth), continues to ride the crest of the wave made by her "find a man before you SHRIVEL UPPPP AHHH I CAN SEE YOU SHRIVELING" manifesto in the Daily Princetonian. Have we mentioned you should totally marry her super-single Princeton son in the next five minutes that you're not barren?
The Class of '77 alumna, who said that she was "delighted" with the overwhelming response to her article, reiterated her views during a speech at the American Whig-Cliosophic Society on the Princeton campus on Thursday night. "[Female college students] are receiving so much information about career planning, and they don’t need to hear any more of it."
Hell, they probably don't even want to go to college at all, unless there's a Perfect Rice-Krispie Treat Making Academy somewhere, amirite? Does her son like Rice-Krispie treats? <3
Here, she continues to articulate her views on shriveling, which, in case you forgot, you're doing right now.
“A woman looking for a husband in her 30s gives off total desperation,” Patton said, likening the effect to a “man repellent.”
So you'd better land a man in your twenties, when you're drinking too much, have no idea what you want and may not have even had good sex yet! Because surely those things have nothing to do with the massive divorce rate of Patton's generation.
She also does this thing that always amazes me, which is use "post-feminist" where the word "feminist" should still be. But feminists, says Patton, are "bullying" and "intimidating" women into the workforce, where their Working Girl-style shoulder pads quash their latent desire to nest and babymake as soon as humanly possible.
“[Feminists] went too far and crossed over to the dark side, putting forward messages intended to tear down the male power structure,” Patton said. “We need a new post-feminist manifesto that enables women and empowers women to want all that they want for themselves.”
So I think, I THINNNNK, that makes Jezebel the Death Star. Sold!
Photo via Twitter