Pope Francis Presides Over Some Really Bad Auguries

Here is some news that’s quite literally inauspicious: two white doves released by children standing next to Pope Francis as a peace gesture were attacked this morning shortly after taking flight. Their attackers? A seagull and a large black crow.

The spectacle justifiably freaked out the audience gathered in Vatican City. One dove got away with only minimal feather loss, but CBS isn’t quite sure what happened to the other dove, which the crow, i.e. Satan’s wingman, pecked repeatedly. All of this means, of course, that one (if not several) of the old classical deities is playing a little prank on the unimaginative monotheists gathered for their solemn Sunday ritual.