Poll Finds that Women Are Happiest at Size 12 (Because Cheese Probably)Lindy West10/24/13 8:15pmFiled to: happinesshealthcheesehealthy at any sizefeelingsfoodshutterstock1839EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkConventional wisdom suggests that, when it comes to female happiness, thinner is always, always, always better—that once you whittle yourself down to a perf size 2, all of your problems will disappear, celery will begin to taste like donuts, and Twiggy circa 1967 (the happiest woman e'er to stride the earth!) will slide down your chimney and pay off your student loans. Female happiness achieved!AdvertisementRecently, however, a British clothing retailer commissioned a study to discover SCIENTIFICALLY at which dress size women are their #1 happiest. Turns out, conventional wisdom is a sham. (More like conventional jizzdom amirite.)The study's 2000 respondents revealed their dress size and how they feel about their appearance. Seventy-four percent of women who wear a British size 16 (American size 12) say they're happy with their appearance—a higher percentage than any other size, and twice as high as the size sixes.AdvertisementHere's the Daily Mail:Half of those whose weight has fluctuated in the past three years, reveal they were at their happiest with a fuller, size 16 figure (49 per cent).Indeed, the research found 52 per cent of size six women would like to be curvier....The survey results show women sized 14 to 18 [American 10 to 14], have a more positive frame of mind when it comes to their appearance.In comparison, those sized six to 10 are much more critical of their look, with just 59 per cent saying they are happy with their appearance....The findings also suggest size six ladies are often envious of those with curves, with a third (35 per cent) wishing for a fuller figure because it's considered sexier.They also feel curves would make clothes more flattering (31 per cent), and one in four (24 per cent) say it would improve their body confidence. It's a shame, of course, that so many women derive their self-esteem from a construct as subjective and normative as what's "considered sexier." Feeling sexually attractive is great—if you're into sexual attractiveness—but basing all of your self-worth on external validation is a pretty huge gamble (the world is kind of a dick) and a great way to wind up feeling worthless. Figuring out how you can love you no matter what is like a magic trick, because then there's always someone around (just hangin' out right there in your brain-case!) who thinks you're the bee's knees. Having Nigella Lawson's curves wouldn't make you magically happy any more than they made Nigella Lawson magically happy. Nope, the only surefire way to like yourself is to goddamn like yourself.