My first email address was ernest1960@aol.com. It was my dad’s account and I spent a great deal of my time at 13 looking at gay pornography and then chatting with teenage girls to make up for it. The first email I sent was likely to a girl who went by JessyM13 and it was “this is my email address. Do you have an email address? I got a 4.0 this semester. What about you?”

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I wish I could forget this—the same way I wish I could forget the fact that I would routinely spend hours looking for the perfect Phantom of the Opera fan art to use as the wallpaper—but the internet won’t let me. Nor will it let you. But at least we don’t have to talk about it in public...unlike the people in this Buzzfeed video. Watch. Cringe. Reminisce. And then close the video and pretend you never saw it.


Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.