Parents Upset by Kinda Hilarious Bloody Dead Doll Halloween Display

Terror is ROCKING BROOKLYN after locals discovered that a pumpkin-headed surgeon has set up shop on the street in order to perform some sort of medical procedure (life-saving, maybe!!! Don’t assume!) on a bloodied baby doll surrounded by tacos. An IV drips ghoulish medication into the baby’s plastic arm, while tiny pumpkin nurses look spoooooooookily worried behind their surgical masks. I, for one, think I’m going to go ahead and stick with my current primary care doc. That pumpkin is probably not even board-certified. Also, it’s a pumpkin.

Joyce Draganosky, a local filmmaker (and ACTUAL DRAGAN [sic]?), says she’s behind the display. She constructs a Halloween tableau on her porch every year, and it’s “all in fun.” It’s “not going to hurt kids.”

Yeah, Joyce. UNLESS THOSE KIDS ARE MADE OF PLASTIC.

Some neighbors are pissed:

…a woman walking by declared: “Wow. That’s fucked up. They must not have kids. This really reflects poorly on Brooklyn and this neighborhood.”

And:

“This is some sick, twisted-minded stuff,” said Valerie Bell, who lives nearby.

While others are, like, uh, yeah, it’s Halloween. We do it every year? Are you new?

“There’s always gonna be somebody who’s like, ‘Waa, waa, it’s too scary to walk down Bergen Street.’ I don’t think the kids here have a problem with it,” said Becky Freeman, 31, a flight attendant. “It’s playful and creative. It’s not realistic or anything. I’ve actually been telling people, go by and look at it.”

I mean, to be clear, I’m staunchly against medical pump-fessionals dissecting babies for sport (#OBAMACARE), but this is quite obviously a standard and fairly mundane Halloween goof. I wouldn’t personally erect this display in my yard, but that’s mainly because I am a total ‘Ween-Grinch who hates horror and only tolerates this pointlessly labor-intensive holiday because candy. Also, I’m tired.

If anyone has lost a child to a demonic man-squash, I am so incredibly sorry for your trauma and totally open to rethinking my stance. In the meantime, there are some Halloween displays that actually do deserve outrage, so I’ll be over here: