NJ Woman and Family Live With Cardboard Cutout of Bradley Cooper

Danielle Davies is a huge fan of Bradley Cooper. Having known the actor once in school (they did a play together), she’s decided to get the actor’s attention by taking a carboard cutout of him everywhere: from the grocery store, to the mall, to a romantic rendezvous at an indoor carousel. (Probably also inside the mall.)

Davies has several good reasons for her “project.” First, she’s going to turn her life with the cutout into a book, obviously, but she’s also got some philosophical reasons for what she’s doing:

“Why? Because, friends, this is America. So why not?,” she explains on her website.”The fact is, while most of us don’t actually live our lives with movie stars, many of us wish we did,” Davies also writes. “If I want a life with Bradley Cooper, well, then…I’ll just make one up.”

That does sound like the American spirit. If you can’t have something, just make it up. For instance, in sixth-grade I was very much in love with the movie The Craft. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried none of the books that I borrowed from the library or the nude rituals I made up to call forth the triple goddess worked and so I did what any enterprising pre-teen would do: I told everyone that I was related to Joan of Arc and like not to mess with me with and stuff. But I was 11, this woman is pushing 40 and engaging in activities that are embarrassing to both her husband (who she claims is very patient) and her children (who can’t tell a Cooper from a Wahlberg.) All I did when I thought I was a very powerful witch (TM) was stare at the sky intensely willing the weather to change (I also made thunder noises), this woman is literally dragging a cardboard cutout everywhere she goes. And putting it in bed with her children. And then posting it all onto Instagram.

As much as I can see this being funny (haha, nutty mom alert, you guys! She packs the weirdest lunches!) I can also see this being somewhat sad. Davies’ project is the result of her realization that someone she once acted with is now famous and that her trajectory, fulfilling as it may be, is much different than the one Cooper had. It almost makes one wonder if this project isn’t just tinged with the “I’m so kooky look at me” flavor that Davies speaks of, but also a sense of remorse and a feeling of “what might have been” if she had pursued her dreams or had more talent. Of course, that could just be me jealous that I hadn’t thought up such a project. But Fairuza Balk cutouts are hard to find these days.

Davies says that she has not yet heard from Bradley Cooper, but expects that he will learn of her project soon enough. Look out for that restraining order in the mail any day, Danielle!