If you’re one of those chicks who’s ever faked an orgasm (cough), be advised: you’re breaking Nicki Minaj’s pink spandex-clad heart.
In fact, The Queen/King of rap demands that you come—and apparently has a method of teaching a friend who’s reportedly never had an orgasm in what she needs to do to get there, including some sort of straddling exercise that sounds like a heterosexual man’s wet dream.
“She’s a pleaser. I’m a pleaser. But it’s fifty-fifty,” she’s quoted as saying in the upcoming July issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. Nicki Minaj: your leader in the boardroom, and in the bedroom. [VH1]
It took all of, hmm, 36-ish hours for some brilliant journalist at CNN to come out with a hard-hitting thinkpiece about Caitlyn Jenner’s transition, rife with misused pronouns, catty remarks about her cosmetic surgeries, and, generally speaking, a misogynistic point-of-view about how women in the media are perceived. Stellar job, you guys! [CNN]
Oh, so you think Kim Kardashian is faking her second pregnancy? (Sidebar: maybe? I also still believe that Beyoncé used a surrogate with Blue Ivy and as anyone who’s read my Dirt Bags knows, I’m a superfan of The Queen and would never say a disparaging remark otherwise.) Well, the “30 businesses” owner has news for all of you basics: “Pregnant KiKi does not play!” Which is a subtle way of saying, “There is a pregnancy, and it might be mine, and it might not be mine, but someone, somewhere, is pregnant.” Honestly, just get this chick some pickle-flavored ice cream, or whatever pregnant women crave, so that the rumors will go away. [Us Weekly]
•Where you’ll find a billion dollars: in certain elevators, and/or printed on this here backpack carried by Beyoncé as she and family helicoptered to the Hamptons. [Daily Mail]
•Jay Z wants your summer to be fucked up in the best way possible. [Vibe]]
•Melissa McCarthy lost some weight; OK! magazine describes her as “skinny as ever,” because that’s all women need to hear in order to feel validated, right? [OK!]
•Every Man Ryan Gosling pumps his own gas. Seriously, that shit is endearing. [Daily Mail]
•Things also requiring gasoline: Amber Rose’s big girl tricycle. [Bossip]
•Here’s Kate Hudson looking purdy in red at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards. [Daily Mail]
•Iggy Azalea on why she canceled her upcoming tour: “I just needed a mental break.” (Girl, I totally hear you on that.) [People]
Images via Getty