New Zealand Rejects Kind of Weird and Really Weird Baby Names Alike

New Zealanders, sick and tired of being ridiculed for everyone calling them Kiwis, are putting an end to the tomfoolery. No longer can Kiwis name their kids whatever the fresh hell they feel like naming them. Officials have released a list of 77 names that the government aka the New Zealand version of The Man will not let parents name their children.

Highlights of the list include all names that imply rank, like “Duke,” “Queen” or “Princess,” “4Real,” “Lucifer,” “V8,” and straight up “Anal.” Maybe they meant to name their child after the sad, twirling dervish that is Lana Del Rey and spelled it backwards on accident? Or maybe it was a “Boy Named Sue” thing where they wanted their kid to develop a thick skin by naming them after butt hole. I want to give these people the benefit of the doubt.

All forms of “Justice” were also rejected, with the original spelling rejected 62 times and some alternate versions like “Justus” and “Juztice” also rejected. Where is Juztice in this world? Not in New Zealand, apparently.

The list has been released after several instances of judges scolding New Zealand parents in the past who named their children wonderful rhythmic flow, like “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii,” “Number 16 Bus Shelter,” and “Midnight Chardonnay.”