Nestlé is Making a 'Premium' Bottled Water Aimed at 'Stylish' WomenCallie Beusman6/10/13 5:30pmFiled to: waterwomen be shoppingcapitalismwtfnestlebottled water672EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkLiving in the modern world, it's difficult not to be saddened and disturbed by the scarcity of water that imperils millions of humans on a daily basis. Oh, did you think I was talking about global water shortages? No, sorry, I was referring to the fact that there were only three premium brands of still water targeted at the discerning bottled water consumer. The injustice.AdvertisementFortunately, Nestlé has stepped up to remedy this egregious oversight: Today, it's introducing a new premium brand of still water titled "Resource." According to Larry Cooper, the brand's marketing manager, its intended demographic is “a woman who is a little more on the trendy side and higher-income side, and the bull’s-eye is 35 years old." Good, because this gender-neutral peasant water tasted like the bottled tears of some sort of hideous bog creature.Elaborates Mr. Cooper, “We want to raise it to the level of a lifestyle brand, where she’s proud to carry around Resource as her bottled water accessory, so to speak.” Maybe it can even replace the handbag as the high-profile female politician's accessory of choice!