Neighbors Really Hate Arizona Man’s Giant Gargoyle Cock Sculpture

A man in Arizona may be forced to take down the nine-foot, hatchet-wielding gargoyle statue standing in his otherwise empty front yard because his neighbors have complained about the gargoyle’s magnificent thighs, buttocks, and penis, all clearly visible to the casual passerby. That’s right, folks — gargoyles can be sexed and this particular spade-tailed, wingéd specimen is a boy gargoyle forever preserved in a state of flaccid impotence.

Yavapai County resident David Smith contends that the gargoyle has been erected in his front yard for years, and that none of his neighbors have ever said a word about its penis before. It would appear, however, that the delightfully eccentric gay couple raising Australian cattle dogs next to the Smith residents have moved out because the new neighbors have complained about the gargoyle’s general offensiveness to Yavapai County officials, who have in turn ordered Smith to take down his own personal monument to bad taste.

Smith has so far stood resolutely behind his gargoyle, admiring its shapely hindquarters and flinging out Thomas Jeffersonisms that he no doubt purloined from a “101 Great Quotes from Great Americans” coffee table book. “Thomas Jefferson said,” he told Phoenix’s Fox affiliate, “if you're not offended twice a day, you're not living in a free society."

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Thomas Jefferson was, if nothing else, a man with an excellent sense of aesthetics, and he no doubt would have Smith’s hideous statue destroyed if he were in charge out in Yavapai County.

[My Fox Phoenix]