Monster/Genius Charged with Stealing Nearly $20K Worth of Girl Scout Cookies

Thirty-seven-year-old South Carolina man Christopher Maurice Morton has been charged with stealing nearly $19 thousand worth of Girl Scout cookies from a warehouse in Spartanburg. The theft was noticed on February 26th when workers at the Carey Moving and Storage company did inventory and discovered that over 50 cases of Thin Mints and Shortbreads were had gone missing since February 15th when the cookies first arrived.

C’mon, Morton. First of all, I totally understand the impulse to steal 50 cases of Girl Scout cookies. They’re so special and around for so short a time — not to mention that they’re very very expensive — that it’s not so outlandish to think about boosting a few boxes. We’ve all had that thought, but reason ultimately kicks in and the majority of us realize that, by stealing them, we are taking away both opportunities for your community’s Girl Scouts and funds from a very special organization. But — for the briefest of moments — let’s forget all that all that moral crap and get to what’s really wrong here. You risked getting caught and going to jail for Trefoils?

As it turns out, Morton was a truck driver for Carey Moving and Storage. There are few details available on how he was caught and arrested so let’s just assume that it was the plucky gumshoe detective work of a local Girl Scout troop that, using the skills learned on various Girl Scout outings and their own optimism and intelligence, were able to lead police to the culprit.

He would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling Girl Scouts!