He says his past girlfriends are all jealous of his Barbies: "I will never be one of these. What's my waist line?" Yes, I'm sure the worry over their figures is the reason you guys broke up. It's not the 6,000 BARBIE DOLLS RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

But it is true, most real women can't measure up to Barbie. Mainly because we have nipples, vulvas, and can't wear clothes that are bedazzled 24/7. Although, you gotta love a man who's committed to a cause? Like, so committed he could be committed, but still.

[via LifeFiles]