Meet 'Frotox,' Botox's Allegedly Kinder and Gentler Younger Sister

Botox has been on its quest to eradicate all signs of age from every rich person’s face on the planet for about six years now. On the way, it’s made a ton of A-list friends and frenemies — people love the stuff, even though it’s made out of purified botulinum toxin and is widely known for its tendency to keep those who inject it from making facial expressions. Therefore, it’s not very surprising — although maybe a little long coming — that researchers have concocted a gentler alternative that claims to be “a no-toxin alternative that will freeze your wrinkles away instantly.”

That’s not a metaphor: iovera, or “Frotox,” as it’s been tenderly nicknamed, is a procedure in which liquid nitrogen is injected into the nerves that control wrinkle-causing muscles. According to my very nuanced and complete understanding of science, it’s exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character in that Batman movie, only his crime spree is directed against the aging process and not innocent civilians/a masked vigilante.

The procedure, which is currently only available in the UK, compels facial nerves to go into “hibernation” for up to four months, causing wrinkles to disappear. Unlike Botox, the effects of Frotox can be seen instantly, and inability to move your face is not one of them. Also, apparently, nitrogen occurs naturally in the body, so it doesn’t qualify as a foreign substance. Sounds pretty “chill.” (I’ll show myself out.)

So, rejoice, women and men of the world! Start planning your Frotox-themed winter solstice party immediately! We now have at our fingertips the technology to less invasively reject the natural process of aging with manic fear. Hurrah!

“Move over, Botox! Toxin-free wrinkle-busing treatment using the power of COLD launches in the UK” [Daily Mail]