So Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey had a totally low-key renewal of their wedding vows. Cannon and #dembaby Moroccan were dressed as Disney princes while Mimi and #fembaby Monroe were in princess garb. It was grillions of dollars, in Disneyland, they Vined the shit out of it, and invited Entertainment Tonight. Some highlights:
From the suite, Mariah and Monroe were picked up in a horse-drawn Crystal Carriage that took them to Main Street.
The twins sat in the front row to witness the vow renewals which were themed, “Do you believe in fairy tales?” Immediately after the ceremony, there was a burst of fireworks.
The space was adorned with 15,000 blooms imported from South Africa, Holland and France and 10,000 crystals.
The Royal Footman from Cinderella, Major Domo, served as the Master of Ceremonies for the evening and escorted the approximately 250 guests to Fantasyland.
Boy, did he ever. ALSO, this Vine of three servants buttoning Mimi into her dress, because the cartoon birds were like, “We, um, we don’t know if we feel good about this. Sorry.” [Entertainment Tonight, images via Twitter and Vine/Seenive]
Jennifer Aniston’s barren womb and sad existence (according to TABLOIDS, anyway) and her fiance Justin Theroux have postponed their wedding because Brangelina’s was set to be around the same time. From Us Weekly:
“She does not want her day associated with them,” one insider tells Us of the A-lister, who divorced the World War Z star in 2005. In fact, upon learning of Pitt’s plans, she initially considered moving her date up and getting married first, but Theroux, 41, changed her mind. “Justin got weirded out by all the rushing,” the source says.
STOP RUSHING WITH THAT UTERUS OF YOURS, ANISTON. Gahhhhd. [Us Weekly]
Tara Reid on Lindsay Lohan being the shitfaced Sith to her shitfaced Jedi:
“We don’t really like each other that much,” Reid said. “If I get drunk, I’m a happy drunk. When she gets drunk, she’s just mean.”
Le fin. [TMZ]
Gwyneth Paltrow recommends that whenever you get in a fight with your man, you give him a free-range organic beej with low-sodium soy sauce and a sesame-ginger garnish, because logic?
When she was a guest on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler divulged:”[Gwyneth’s] an amazing advice-giver. And one of her friends is like, ‘I got in a big fight with my husband and I went home and I just wanted to scream and yell,’ and you were like, ‘Whatever you’re doing, do the opposite. If you feel angry, go at him with love and you give him a blowjob.'” Fun game: Replace every time Chris Martin sings “yellow” in that song “Yellow” with “blowjob.” [E!]
Jason Collins asked Lance Bass for coming-out-as-a-famous-human advice, Bass revealed on his Sirius radio show. They know each other via their mutual friend Joanna Garcia. “He’s been trying to plan this for a very long time, contemplating if he wanted to do this. In fact, he said he was going to call me months ago but was too scared, because he wanted to tell me.” [NYDN]
Sarah Jessica Parker, like Carrie Bradshaw, does not own a cell phone. [E!]
- Christina Hendricks has a ginger dog. [People]
- Victoria Beckham got a haircut. [People]
- Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult might be back together because she belongs to him, he belongs to her, they’re each others’ sweetHEEEARTS. (That song makes me want to drink battery acid.) [E!]
- Allison Williams will play not-Juliet in the Shakespeare-inspired movie Rosaline. [Deadline]
- This is Mindy Kaling sans makeup. SPOILER ALERT: Still pretty. [Us Weekly]
- Kristen Bell went out for the first time since that tiny human came out of her. [Us Weekly]
- Someone at Page Six is trying to convince us that Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Tobey Maguire, Michael K. Williams and Axl Rose are the new Rat Pack. Nice try. [Page Six]
- Prince gave a Portland high school jazz band enough money for a trip to New York, and then he made love to all of them. [Page Six]
- Trolls are calling Ireland Baldwin fat. [Page Six]
- Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert’s honky-tonk marriage is crumbling, crumbling, there it goes. [Radar Online]
- Selena Gomez writhed around in a body of water. [NYDN]
- Winona Ryder, like the Bruce Springsteen song, is still talking about the glory days. “The actress was heard telling a guest at the bash at Soho House that she received a 1600 on her SATs and could have gone to Harvard, but instead chose to shoot cult classic Heathers.” [Page Six]
- Willie Nelson “audioned” to play a stoned Gandalf on Conan. [NYDN]
- Young Angelina Jolie! [NYDN]
- Robert Pattinson left L.A. and Kristen Stewart to go work on another movie. [Radar Online]
- Nicole Richie has a webseries on AOL now. Related: Ten years after you made that Oscar Wilde quote about being in the gutter and looking at the stars your AIM profile, and eventually completely forgot about AIM, AOL still exists. [Gossip Cop]
- Jesse James says his fourth wife is the “best thing to ever happen to him.” Ditto, but McGriddles. Just kidding, I feel like death after I eat them. Just kidding, I feel exhilarated. [Radar Online]
- Rob Kardashian’s being sued by a paparazzo for assault and roberry. [Gossip Cop]