Man Pretty Sure Critic Who Didn't Like His Art Just Needs to Get Laid

If a female art critic doesn’t like a male artist’s work, it’s because she’s an embittered, sexless old hag. That’s just basic Art Science. And so who could possibly be mad at artist Loris Gréaud, who responded to one art editor’s bad review with a message urging her to “get a boyfriend?”

Lauren Smart is the Arts Editor at the Dallas Observer (where, full disclosure, I used to work, although Smart and I don’t know each other). On Friday, Smart wrote a less-than-flattering review of Gréaud’s new show at the Dallas Contemporary gallery, which she found just kind of… meh. The artist hired a bunch of people to destroy all the art midway through the opening night party. Smart wasn’t sure she quite got the point, writing:

I’ve been thinking about it a lot for the past week. What did he mean by destroying the art? Or what did he mean by his installation in the first place? There is something that’s meant to be site-specific, right? This work was created for the Dallas Contemporary over five years of discussion. He made a large, pretentious, vapid exhibition that you can imagine people walking through, nodding and smiling, before being escorted out for a fabricated emergency.

Pretentious? Vapid? Modern art? NO WAY. (Just a quick programming note here: the artist’s Facebook profile photo is him in blackface rocking sort of a Hitler ‘stache and hairdo, because this man is Edgy and his art is Serious.)

But Gréaud didn’t take her criticism kindly, she reports today, writing in a Facebook message to her on Saturday that the review was “by far, and seriousely [sic], the most ignorant, the most ignorant, frustrated, uncultured and so badly written review i’ve ever read. thank you so much for according me this, truely [sic].”

He added, with all the, er, creative spelling and punctuation in the original:

in the meantime I really invite you (and here is a recipe for you, … you’ll thank me in a while…): study a bit litterature, study A LOT art history and art after the 20 century (you’ll be amaze) obiviousely ill higly recommand during this 4 years studies: a boyfriend with at least 400mg Anadrol a day… and I swear you’ll make it.

Anadrol is a steroid that is often used alongside testosterone injections. He’s trying to urge her, rather clumsily, to get a boyfriend that fucks her good. Very creative, Monsieur Gréaud!

When Smart responded “Thanks for the advice,” Gréaud doubled down, suggesting again that she seeks out a boyfriend with Anadrol in his system, adding that she simply didn’t have the capacity to understand his great work:

in your case its more complicated cause you don’t have the ability, the capacity, the culture and the elegance to formulate such a simple objective review. its so full of ignorance and absurdities, that is so funny. my advises are serious, there is too much itelectual frustrations, do some work a bit please.

Gréaud promised several times to make Smart “a review star,” promising to share her work all over social media and in his newsletter. Yet somehow he hasn’t gotten around to sharing that review on his personal Facebook or his professional page. What a strange oversight for a guy who handles criticism so well.