Man Gets Jump Rope Stuck in His Penis (No, You Read That Right)

I took health class in the late 90s, and there are many things that I have forgotten (like the video we had to watch about what STDs look like). I will never forget, however, the question box our teacher put on her desk to give us the opportunity to ask anonymous questions that would be shared with the class. One question was about whether penises could break (yes), another was about whether this whole liking boys thing might not pass (mine and yes), and yet a third was a fairly vague query about whether one should ever put things into their “pee hole.” The teacher’s answer was, of course, no, never do that.

I know now that my sixth-grade teacher was not giving us the correct answer at the time and that many people garner sexual enjoyment from putting things into their urethras. What my teacher should have said, however, is that if (when you are a consenting adult and in a safe space) you want to put something in your urethra, you should make sure it’s not a jump rope. Because that’s going to be a fucking pain to get out.

A man in China learned that the hard way when he had to go to the hospital to have a neon green jump rope removed from his penis. According to reports, the rope, which was 1 meter long and 4.4 millimeters thick (click through for the photo!) became a nuisance when the patient couldn’t urinate with it inside his penis. At the hospital it was discovered that the man had inserted all but 10 centimeters of the rope inside himself. Emergency surgery had to be performed to save the patient’s bladder and urethra. What made it even more difficult was that the rope was knotted in four places, making it impossible for doctors to just pull out.

Hopefully the man in question will make a full recovery, although I doubt that the hospital will know what type of pamphlet to give him on his way out.