Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber were spotted riding around on Segways together in the gated community in which the Biebs dwells. What does this mean? I mean, I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but riding Segways together is one of the most intimate things that humans can do. There is no vulnerability like the vulnerability of hunching over a ridiculous craft as you cruise along at 12 mph.
If you may recall all the way back to 2013, Justin Bieber is the worst and Selena Gomez deserves better. DO NOT LET HIM SEGWAY BACK INTO YOUR HEART, SELENA. A third person was there, so maybe the excursion was a friendly thing? According to the enterprising young man who originally tweeted about the encounter, Justin Bieber’s bodyguards held up traffic and blocked the road, and Biebs instructed those watching to “fuck off.”
Classic Goblin Prince move: shouting obscenities at the peasants from atop your diminutive chariot while your bodyguards prevent them from moving. [E!, Images via Instagram and Twitter]
The Hollywood Life says that Taylor Swift “will be very mad” about this, but adds: “Taylor can’t be mad at the fact that Justin is helping Selena with her lupus.” Uh. I don’t know where to begin with this one. [THL]
BREAKING: MOST IMPORTANT HAIR UPDATE OF 2014: Hillary Clinton has fortified her visage with a pair of Presidential Bangs, which debuted at the swearing-in ceremony for NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio. Mark it on your hair spreadsheet. Please take note that Bill has opted out of bangs yet again this year. [E!]
There are whispers that Clay Aiken and his markedly unpresidential bangs are actively considering a run for Congress. He’ll be looking to represent North Carolina’s 2nd congressional district as a Democrat. Sure, why not. [ONTD]
- Ricky Martin and his boyfriend of four years have broken up. If your New Year’s resolution was “embark upon a whirlwind romance with ‘La Vida Loca’ singer,” you are now one step closer. [People]
- Rick Ross is suing LMFAO over the “everyday I’m shufflin'” lyrics in “Party Rock Anthem,” which he alleges is a copy of his own “Everyday I’m Hustling.” I’ve been wanting to sue them for creating that song forever but hadn’t been able to come up with an angle, so good on him. [Billboard]
- Enrique Iglesias said the following in an interview with the New York Post: “My worst defect is from the waist down. I’m sorry, no, that’s not my worst defect… but it is a little curved.” Everyone is taking this as penis talk, but he could be talking about a club foot. [Page Six]
- Tori Spelling and her “alleged love rat” husband Dean McDermott (what is a “love rat” and how does one become one, allegedly?) do not have a pre nup, which is bad because he may have cheated on her. [Radar]
- Jennifer Hudson bought her assistant a house for Christmas and his reaction is amazing. [Gossip Cop]
- Lamar Odom is reportedly afraid that he will be portrayed negatively in the upcoming season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians — which he definitely will be because ratings. [Radar]
- Here is a video of Kim Kardashian falling down while performing an unimpressive ski trick. [The Hollywood Gossip]
- TMZ continues its descent into insanity: “Our photog Kris was frustrated but undaunted as [Johnny] Depp left in his SUV.
Kris then discovered the treasure trove — the butt of a cigarette that
was once firmly inserted in Depp’s mouth.” [TMZ]