Insane 'White Student Union' Patrols Campus in Face of Perceived 'Black Crime Wave'

The Towson University White Student Union (WSU), an allegiance formed of supremely ignorant and bigoted college students, has officially transgressed the border of deeply offensive and trundled into the realm of completely batshit with its decision to form an all-white campus patrol to defend their innocent (white) peers from the threatening threat of black people. More specifically, the WSU is doing this to protect the ladies. And here you thought white supremacists were thoughtless.

The WSU president, Matthew Heimbach, known as “Commander Heimbach” to his fellow young racists, took to the organization’s blog a about a month ago, decrying a lack of media response to what he perceived as a “black crime wave”:

The frequent robberies, sexual assaults, and acts of vandalism at Towson University are not often reported in the local media. For those who are not Towson students it seems hard to fathom that every single day black predators prey upon the majority white Towson University student body. White Southern men have long been called to defend their communities when law enforcement and the State seem unwilling to protect our people.

The virtue of white Christian womanhood is under attack at Towson University by degenerate criminals seeking to rob our women of their God given innocence. Through armed thuggery the money of law abiding Towson students that is earned by the sweat of their brow is stolen and their lives threatened for simply walking down the street.

Commander Heimbach, who is such a terrible human being that — I shit you not — he had posted on Facebook a picture (since made private) of himself HOLDING A CONFEDERATE FLAG IN FRONT OF THE MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. MEMORIAL, WITH A WEAPON ON HIS BELT, went on to outline the WSU campus patrol’s game plan. Highlights include mandatory self-defense classes for all female members, the use of group funds to buy “legal and nonlethal” weapons, and the insistence that all male members escort their helpless, pure, lily-white female counterparts to classes and their dorms, because if a black man sees a white woman unaccompanied he will have no choice but to assault her, even if they are both running late to their 9:00 am bio class. That has been the law of race relations since time immemorial.

Apparently the members have been going to local gun ranges as a group, but not in a “military way.”

The WSU (which, it should be noted, was not a University affiliated organization because it could not find a faculty advisor), was added to the Southern Poverty Law Center Hate Map a week later, which filled Commander Heimbach with pride:

Members of the Towson White Student Union were pleased to find this morning that the left wing Southern Poverty Law Center has decided that our stand against the genocide of the European people from the face of the earth, demographic displacement of Europeans from our homelands, discrimination in the workplace, and a call to end foreign influence over our domestic affairs has made us such a threat to the Left that they put us on the Hate Map… Well SPLC we will toast a round to you tonight and thank you for recognizing the hard work of the WSU to fight against everything you stand for.

The WSU made headlines a few weeks ago after member Scott Terry defended slavery at the Conservative Political Action Conference, commenting that slaves should have be thankful to the humans who treated them as property for “feeding… and housing” them; he was also heard muttering, “Why can’t we just have segregation?” after asking whether it was something the MODERN DAY REPUBLICAN PARTY COULD SUPPORT. In an interview with ThinkProgress following the fiasco, he went on to spew more nauseous hate speech, including the remark that he would “be fine” with a society in which African-Americans were permanently subservient to whites and the claim that white people are “systematically disenfranchised” by the law. Heimbach, who was also present at the event, added, “The white, blue-collar vote is being completely ignored by Republicans.”

This belief epitomizes a ridiculously antiquated racial hierarchy, in which white men alone are constitutive of civil society — which exists solely for their benefit — and African-Americans are perpetual outsiders who can only benefit the white society from which they are excluded by having their labor exploited, otherwise they’re merely a menace to the established order. (White women have no place in this society, obvs, other than objects of exchange between white men: when a woman in attendance at the CPAC challenged Scott Terry about the Republican Party’s roots, he responded, “I didn’t know the legacy of the Republican Party included women correcting men in public.” In this view, by virtue of their extreme passivity, white women are easy victims to the specter of the hyper-aggressive black man.)

On the bright side, the influx of negative media attention seems to be dampening Commander Heimbach’s spirit. He has since claimed that the goal of the patrols is to protect all students, regardless of race (despite having been formed to combat a specifically black menace). He has also renounced his honorific:

[A]s of late, the media has been misconstruing the title I personally have been using for the past few months. My position in the WSU is President and my term is until the end of May. The title “Commander” began as a joke when Leftist media outlets and communists on campus began referring to me as “Commander Heimbach,” implying that I was the next George Lincoln Rockwell.

The hyperbolic nature of the media’s presentation of our group as militant only furthered the joke within our organization that I was “Commander” of some evil secret brotherhood. The media would probably find us far less militant if they followed us to church, the WSU Bible Study, the WSU book club, nature trips, or going out to dinner as a group… Obviously the inside joke of going by “Commander” was lost on the media, so I will be returning to my formal title of “President.” -WSU President Matthew Heimbach

It’s an inside joke, guys, and all you pinko race-traitors in the media are on the outside. You’d all find the WSU far less militant if you just followed them on one of their outings to purchase pepper spray, or maybe to target practice, where they are learning to shoot guns in a “non-military” way.