I'm Vegan, and This Vegan Sellout Site Is Fucking Embarrassing

There’s this awful website run by an idiot/swarm of idiots that lists people who used to be vegan and aren’t now and is all “look at these ex-vegan sellouts!” in hopes of shaming those people into, uh, becoming vegan again? Because nothing says “we welcome you back with open arms!” like “you’re a fucking asshole and we hope you get punched in the tits!”

As a vegan, I’m embarrassed and enraged. First, the site design is tacky as hell. Second, it plays into the stereotype of vegans as preachy, judgmental dickwads. And third, I don’t need to deal with 15 people sending me a link to the site and being all, “OMG WHO DO YOU THINK WROTE THIS??!!1 p.s. vegans are crazy!”

Okay, well let’s run down by top list of suspects:

1. Meat eaters or the meat industry. Something to do with meat.
Why? The website is easy and lazy — so much so that I question whether a vegan is really behind it. I wouldn’t be surprised if the site was run by Americans for Beef or Patriots for Pork in an attempt make vegans look scary, cruel, and downright Un-American. This is just speculation on my part, but I wouldn’t put it past the same people who exploit humans and animals to overproduce government subsidized hormone- and antibiotic-filled garbage food to use whatever power they have to scare people away from thinking about where their food comes from.

What do vegans have to lose by making a crazy site that makes vegans look crazy? Judging by Eater‘s reaction — a lot. What does the meat industry have to gain? Even more.

2. Really angry vegan in a basement with no friends and a lot of sadness who needs a hug and probably some Lithium.
The vegans that run the site, if they exist, are not your average vegan. Most of us knit booties for the disabled turkeys rescued by farm sanctuaries and bake vegan cupcakes for every function possible. Hell, I just baked a batch for a kid who successfully took her first poop in a toilet. That’s what most vegans do. We talk about how cute animals are and we eat tempeh. It’s our thing.

If it’s vegans behind this site, I have a note for them: Shut the fuck up or get the fuck out. We don’t need this shit. Signed, Laura and all other vegans except maybe your mom if your mom is vegan? But also probably your mom, too.