'I'm Incredibly Close to the Common Woman,' Gwyneth Paltrow Goops

Greetings, fellow human woman, who does all the normal things that that a normal human women does. Gwyneth Paltrow, also a human woman, went on CNNMoney yesterday to talk about her website Goop and how she—again, a human woman—is a lot like you (i.e. human… and a woman).

“What we try to do at Goop is curate and to edit. We know that a woman’s time is her most precious resource and we want to multitask, get a lot done, and what we want to do is provide the best solutions,” Paltrow stated, continuing:

I’m incredibly close to the common woman in that I’m a woman and I’m a mother and we all are in a physical body with beating hearts with compassion and love we are all seekers… we all want fulfillment, we all want to live our best lives. We want to be healthy and happy and squeeze the most we can out of life. I think that’s all women.

Gwyneth, I think you seem very nice (truly!) and that, in general, conversations on what it means to be a “normal” or “common” woman are dumb and limiting. That said, “I’m incredibly close to the common woman in that I’m a woman and I’m a mother and we all are in a physical body with beating hearts” sounds exactly like something an alien that’s trying to pass as person on Earth would say.

And the more I think about it, the more that become’s a very convincing theory re: Gwyneth.

[E! Online]

OooOooOooh! Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx got caught holding haaaaaaaaaands! Rumors of the Holmes/Foxx coupling have been circling for awhile now, but finally we have a grainy creep shot to prove it. The photo—published exclusively to US Weekly—shows the pair playing a gentle game of footsie and intertwining fingers. Alternative theory: They’re just playing a complicated version of cat’s cradle. [US Weekly]

Radar has unearthed an old interview that features Ray J talking some major shit about Kim Kardashian and Whitney Houston. “Right then when I was messing with them I was right at the peak of the Kim K sex tape… Whitney Houston… just I’m on top of the world as far as being a bad boy,” he’s recorded saying.

He claims to have told one woman, “you’re gonna be with me when I want you to be with me… then when we’re not together I’m gonna be with her or whoever the fuck I wanna be with.”

Ugh, for the love of Ray J. [Radar]

Jude Law is once again a father. [People]
In truly tragic news, Food Network Star‘s Cristie Schoen Codd was found murdered with her husband in Leicester, N.C. An arrest has been made. [US Weekly]
Shailene Woodley won’t stop talking about “bone broth,” which, by the way, is just a fancy way of saying normal broth. [Just Jared]
She also went barefoot in New York City, which is a crazy move no matter how earthy and bone broth’d you are. [OK!]
A hostess caused a ruckus by moving a bunch of patrons at a restaurant so that Emma Stone could have “discreet” meal. [Page Six]
The JoBros gave Nick Jonas shit for his sexy new image. [People]
Rich man Elton John couldn’t go a day without buying Dolce & Gabbana after calling for a Dolce & Gabbana boycott. [The Daily Mail]
Kris Jenner is single, possibly ready to mingle. [Radar]
Someone who looks like One Direction’s Zayn Malik was out with someone who doesn’t look like One Direction’s Zayn Malik’s fiancée, Perrie Edwards. [ONTD]
But proving that love is still both ALIVE and BEAUTIFUL is V. Stiviano and Donald Sterling. [Gossip Cop]