THE U.S. NAVY ANNOUNCED TUESDAY THAT THEY WILL NO LONGER TRANSMIT INTERNAL COMMUNICATIONS IN ALL-CAPS. LOWERCASE MESSAGES, THEY SAID, “PROVIDE A MORE READABLE FORMAT” AND ARE “HERE TO STAY.” LOWERCASE MESSAGES ARE THE FUTURE. ALL-CAPS CAN SUCK IT.
WELL, FUCK THAT.
I LOVE ALL-CAPS. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THEEEEEEEEEEEEEM. ALL-CAPS ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND MY FOOD AND THE DEFAULT TYPEFACE OF MY MOTHERFUCKING HEART.
ALL-CAPS ARE A VITAL LITERARY TOOL AND HISTORY WILL BEAR ME OUT.
I LOVE THE UNFILTERED, UNAPOLOGETIC PUSHINESS OF ALL-CAPS. I LOVE THE BREAK FROM PROPRIETY. I LOVE THE HONESTY OF IT. I LOVE LETTING LOUD FEELINGS BE LOUD. I LOVE HOW ALL-CAPS HELP ME FILTER OUT PEOPLE WHO PRIORITIZE CONVENTION OVER CONTENT, BECAUSE I DO NOT CARE VERY MUCH ABOUT IMPRESSING THOSE PEOPLE.
OH, ALL CAPS ARE “UNREADABLE”?
CAN YOU REALLY NOT READ THIS?
CAN YOU REALLY NOT READ THIS
WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT READING
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