This video that Katy Perry posted of herself at Burning Man is my worst nightmare. Perry, wearing a fur coat and goggles, clearly living out some Tank Girl /Mad Max: Fury Road fantasies, starts off spinning around on a Segway, then falls off and has to chase the scooter as it rolls away in the dust. Her caption writes, “Obvious first time burner alert.” OBVIOUSLY!

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There was a time during the old rave days when I probably would have gone to a Burning Man festival, but that window has passed, thankfully. Now that I’m older and more easily annoyed, the thought of cleaning grey dust out of my butthole for weeks sounds like hell. At least, that’s what I imagine people have to do after they come home from one of these.


Contact the author at marie.lodi@jezebel.com.