Horny Tarantulas Are About to Have a Fuckathon in California
LatestIf you’re one of those smug Californians who’s always going on about fish tacos and great weather and avocados and relaxed marijuana regulations, there’s a grumpy Northeasterner getting ready to have a schadenfreude party at your expense this weekend. That’s because this weekend in California is Tarantula Bang Fest 2013, when male tarantulas from all over the state emerge from their underground lairs in search of female tarantulas that they can have sex with and most likely be murdered by.
According to some lascivious researchers like Al Wolf, director of Sonoma County Reptile Rescue, “This weekend or next weekend is going to be the biggest spider movements of all. All the males will be looking for the girls so it gonna be eight legged love or spider romance.” Yes, the male spiders will put on their letter jackets, hop in their Deuce Coupes, and go cruisin’ down Santa Monica Boulevard for some “girls” (feel free to steal Varsity Spiders from Outer Space, btw, because it’s the weekend we should all share our best movie ideas).