Herman Cain's Confuzzling Pro-Life Ladies' Choice Stance

It is so surreal that this is the guy in the lead right now. We just got our first black president, and now this Herman Cain shows up on a freight train from Crazytown. Check out this interview that aired a couple of months ago on Fox News. “I am pro-life from conception,” Herman Cain said, like he’d memorized the phrase in a meeting ten minutes beforehand. When asked, “Any cases where [abortion] should be legal?” Cain responded, “I don’t think government should make that decision.” Hey, wait, that sounds reasonable. Go on. Cain also said that if a woman is raped, getting an abortion is “her choice, that is not government’s choice.” So ladies’ choice, like a really good happy hour deal. Is this really happening? Is there a nine nine nine family value meal involved? Is Herman Cain friend to wombs, or foe?

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In a more recent interview with MSNBC, when asked whether abortion is the right thing to do when the life of the mother is at risk, Cain says “That family is going to have to make that decision.” And uh, try and get the woman an abortion, which you would like to make illegal?

Just to recap: He believes life begins at conception and would overturn Roe V. Wade. It’s like he doesn’t know how to distinguish between what he believes and what the law of the nation should be. But maybe Herman Cain isn’t even real, maybe he’s an elaborate prank. Someone just cooked up a pizza-loving persona and sprinkled a bunch of cuckoo cheese on top. Has anyone seen Dave Chappelle lately?