This weekend, we were all invited to witness the most high-fashion and glamorous event of a generation when Lifetime (Television for Women) aired its most recent opus/original movie House of Versace, starring Gina Gershon. House of Versace had everything — wigs, questionable accents, smashed wine glasses, tacky fashion and cocaine cocaine cocaine.
If you happened to miss it, fret not! I've created a handy recap for you all through the miracle of GIFs.
House of Versace begins in the mid-90s when fashion designer Gianni Versace (played here by Enrico Colantoni) was at his peak.
It's all fashion...
and Italian people constantly toasting each other.
Then, of course, there's Donatella.
Donatella — Gianni Versace's sister for those of you who know LITERALLY NOTHING — gets all the Versace business done. She wants to have a bigger role in designing clothes, but Gianni won't have it.
So instead, she just runs shit, does a lot of cocaine...
And dances in nightclubs, all while looking like some beautiful bondage snow panther.
Gianni is murdered in Miami and Donatella must take over the company.
It's a lot of pressure, so:
Pills and wine.
And lots of smoking.
At one point, she gets shit-faced and breaks a glass while dancing and talking about Princess Diana. (Been there, girl.)
Eventually, her family is like, "Donatella, we love you, you're beautiful, you're crazy, everything you say is perfect, but you've run the company into the ground and you have to go to rehab otherwise we'll never speak to you again."
She goes to rehab where she smokes more cigarettes, only now she does it in yoga pants.
She gets out of rehab and makes an amazing joke about how recovery made her miss heels more than she missed drugs.
She also returns to run Versace, wearing all white and crackin' jokes like a true boss.
Versace is back on top. Now give this movie all the Oscars.