Here's the Man Who Body-Shames Women for the National Enquirer
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It turns out that the really super mean horrible copy criticizing women’s appearances in the National Enquirer—namely, the tabloid’s semi-annual cover stories dedicated to the “WORST Beach Bodies” and “Plastic Surgery Nightmares”—are mostly written by one guy. Naturally, I was dying to know what the authority on women’s beauty looks like. So I found his Facebook page.
When flipping through a recent issue of the Enquirer in a checkout line I could not believe that someone would actually want a byline attached to shit like this:
Melanie Griffith, 55, has one of Hollywood’s freakiest faces.
It’s time for Madonna to stop reinventing herself. The 54-year-old superstar, who has denied having plastic surgery, was a frightful sight at a recent New York fundraising event… Madonna, you’re trying too hard and it’s not working.
It’s time to get some guts and visit a plastic surgeon for Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger, 51, and singers Pink, 33, and Debbie Gibson, 42… If the ladies don’t want to have work done, there’s always the option of one-piece bathing suits and grown-up tops that cover their bellies.
But for Don Gentile—a veteran news reporter who worked at the New York Daily News for 34 years before going to the Enquirer—it doesn’t seem to be a problem. Perhaps it speaks to his age that he wouldn’t think that people would read such nasty sentiments about women’s physical appearances and turn to social media to check out what kind of Adonis he is. If he had, he probably would never have worn that SpongeBob shirt in those selfies he posted to his Facebook page. (Update: We’ve had to remove the Facebook photos due to copyright issues; we’ve replaced them with an accurate sketch.)

Or maybe he’s just not worried about something like that because he believes he’s doing us all a favor with his work, like when he talked shit on Janet Jackson, next to a before-and-after where she looks nearly exactly the same today as she did 20 years ago in Poetic Justice.