Here's a Woman Plopping Paint Eggs Out of Her Vagina — for Art!

Via Complex, “The PlopEgg Painting Performance # 1 – A Birth Of A Picture” (actual name) is a piece of performance art staged outside the opening of the Art Cologne fair by artist Milo Moire. First she stands, covered by a sheet, presumably inserting the eggs. Then the sheet is removed and she straddles a big canvas and—taking an excruciatingly long time—slowly “lays” or “births” the egg, which hits the ground and explodes paint everywhere. Boom: ART, Y’ALL.

The performance is discomfiting, provocative and becomes strangely mesmerizing after a minute or so. Always fun to see new uses for the old nethers, right? The end result is pretty snazzy, too, and would look very nice on your gyno’s wall. But while Moire no doubt intends to make some very feminist statement about the creative power of the vagina, the description on the YouTube video isn’t particularly pointed:

The “PlopEgg Painting” itself releases a loose chain of thoughts — about the creation fear, the symbolic strength of the casual and the creative power of the femininity. A comparison to wild associations arises and by the intensity of the seen and experienced, one becomes clear: the art needs like so often the corporeity to be able to manifest itself.

Which is maybe why the Internet is receiving it as one big dumb stunt. The Guardian‘s take: “It is absurd, gratuitous, trite and desperate. Anywhere but an art gathering, this would be regarded as a satire on modern cultural emptiness.” Ouch. And so whatever Moire’s intentions, it’s really hard to see this as anything other than a bit of cultural detritus that’ll be thrown in your face the next time you try to talk to someone conservative about abortion rights or maternity leave.

That said, it’s the best advertisement you’ll ever see for Kegel exercises.