Here is a Horrifying Fan-Made Video of the Fifty Shades Tampon Scene

And YET, here it is! Thanks to a fan who made this video a few years ago and to Uproxx, which tracked it down to give everyone an insight into the scene that was even too controversial/shocking/sexy/whatever to put into the film. Yes, that’s right, you won’t actually have to see Jamie Dornan do this to Dakota Johnson THANK GOD. In case you’re wondering, this is the scene from the book that we are all now mercifully saved from, courtesy of Uproxx/Pajiba:

His breathing is ragged, matching mine.

“When did you start your period, Anastasia?” he asks out of the blue, gazing down at me.

“Err… yesterday,” I mumble in my highly aroused state.

“Good.” He releases me and turns me around.

“Hold on to the sink,” he orders and pulls my hips back again, like he did in the playroom, so I’m bending down.

He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my. I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.

“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.

According to an interview with the film’s director Sam Taylor-Johnson. in Variety, that horror of horrors did not make it into the movie. “It was never even discussed.”

Yes, this should never ever be discussed ever again. Let us all make a pact with the Moon Goddess and be done with this.