Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Theory: Dame Helen Mirren is perfect. Here is the evidence:

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She has an Academy Award, four BAFTAs, three Golden Globes, four Emmy Awards and Two Cannes Film Festival Best Actress Awards.

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She loves tacky lucite stripper shoes.

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She dressed up as the Queen and had tea with a dying kid after the real Queen refused.

After the world reeled at seeing her smoking hot in a red bikini, she gave away said red bikini to be auctioned off by the Spread the Warmth Campaign, which stops older people from needlessly suffering and dying in the winter.

She once called the Oscars "the crème de la crème of bullshit."

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She's "utterly disgusted" by the tattoo she got when she was "very, very" drunk — but hasn't had it removed.

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She got married at the age of 52!

She has no children, and says:

“I'’ve no maternal instinct whatsoever. And I don’'t think I'’m so unusual. I think an awful lot of women don'’t really want children, but feel they ought to.

“They think there’'s something wrong with them if they don'’t want to, but it’'s not true.

“I'’m so happy I don'’t have children. But I do love children and I’'ve got family, and [husband Taylor Hackford] has children that I’'m involved with — and with great pleasure — but it'’s just not for me.”

She doesn't do coke anymore, but not because she didn't enjoy it:

You did once say that you loved cocaine.
I haven’t touched it for 20 years, and I gave it up for a very good reason, which is that it’s not what it does to you; it’s what it does to other people. The people who grow the coca leaves are brutalized and murdered, and that’s the issue you forget when you’re having a lovely time at a party.

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She dyed her hair pink on a whim after watching ANTM.

She has a royal air about her and has played three different British monarchs:

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Elizabeth I in the series of that name; Elizabeth II in The Queen, and Queen Charlotte in The Madness of King George.

She was fierce as Morgane Le Fay in Excalibur.

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She rocked the shit out of the Jean Paul Gaultier costumes in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.

She steals every scene in which she appears.

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She is completely believable as a bad-ass assassin in Red (and the upcoming Red 2!).

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

She has fun on the red carpet.

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

Do you have any doubts that she'd be fun to hang out with?!

Helen Mirren Is Perfect

And of course: She's fucking gorgeous.