Guess Which Disney Princess This Is

The correct answer is: It’s Brave’s Merida. The more correct answer: It could be any of the white ones (so… almost all of them?) with a wavy — it’s not even curly! Jesus! — red wig on. Ugh!

Sold via Target as part of the “Ultimate Disney Princess” collection, this Merida is completely unrecognizable as anything other than a conservatively dressed Barbie with a weird belt on. I know these are generic dolls that the manufacturers make minimal alterations to and sell them as Disney princesses, but I suppose that’s part of the problem, right? One of the great things about Merida is her unique, unapologetic looks, and that’s something the public obviously feels passionately about. These ridiculously skinny, impossibly tiny-featured, giant-eyed weirdos don’t represent a spectrum of real women for little girls to aspire to. It’s fucking irresponsible, and annoying as all get out.

Although I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Obviously the bottom line with Disney is the same as any other company — to make as much money by mass-producing plastic garbage toys at the expense of the well-being of every person along the way. BUY BUY BUY!