Great, Someone Made an Ebola Nurse Doll

Face it, you knew more weird and stupid Ebola-themed merchandise was coming our way. Because people just can’t stop themselves from finding obscene ways to cash in on tragedy.

Case in point: The Case-E Ebola Nurse Action Figure is on sale now for all you early holiday shoppers. Yes, this is an “Ebola Nurse” doll/action figure. For collectors. And assholes.

Although it looks a hell of a lot like Kaci Hickox, the makers of the doll claim that’s just a wild and wacky coincidence! Time reached out to the head of Herobuilders who swears on a stack of Bibles the doll has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Hickox, despite the fact that it kind of looks like her. Uh-huh.

Herobuilders.com made the toy of an Ebola-free nurse with curly hair and a red “x” sewed over her eye, who bears a strong resemblance to Hickox, the nurse who made headlines for fighting New Jersey and Maine over their controversial quarantine policy for those returning from Ebola affected countries.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about, I don’t know who Kaci Hickox is,” Hero Builders president Emil Vicale tells TIME, laughing. “This nurse’s name is Case-E. She bears no resemblance.”

Vicale told Time they tried to hold out and not make “this Ebola thing” but the story just wouldn’t go away. So you see they just had to jump in and find a way to exploit the story to make some money. Their hands were tied, OK?

According to the company’s website, the doll is available “just in time for the holidays.” Oh finally, something to get my mother for Christmas. She’s practically impossible to shop for. The doll comes complete with a “health certificate” that states the doll is “100% Ebola free.” Just $29.95, folks. That skeevy feeling you have crawling all over your skin after reading this is one hundred percent free, however.