GOP Senator: Forcing Food Service Workers to Wash Hands Is Un-American

Somehow—how, Lord, how—we’re in the midst of yet another debate about mandatory vaccination, even as Disneyland-born measles crawls across seven states. Clearly, now’s also the time for Republicans to show how much they hate oppressive Big Government rules—like vaccines, of course, or forcing people who handle your food to wash their hands after they poop.

Talking Points Memo has been hilarious and merciless lately in their coverage of Dumb Shit Public Figures are Saying About Public Health; they pointed out this District Sentinel report on newbie GOP Senator Thom Tillis of North Carolina, who’s no fan of the nanny state’s incursion into your God-given private bathroom time. Tillis hates government interference so much that when someone asked him, during an interview at a Starbucks, if he thought employees there should be required to wash their hands after doing the dew, he replied:

‘I don’t have any problem with Starbucks if they choose to opt out of this policy as long as they post a sign that says “We don’t require our employees to wash their hands after leaving the restroom.”

The market, Tillis added, would take care of the rest. “That’s the sort of mentality that we need to have to reduce the regulatory burden on this country,” he said. “We’re one of the most regulated nations in the history of the planet.” Little-known fact: the free market is also very effective in addressing hepatitis and salmonella.

Tillis is, of course, a proponent of small government and limited interference right up until he reaches your vagina, which he would like to see vigorously probed with an ultrasound wand if you need to get an abortion, which of course he’d like to see banned altogether. Of course.