Google Glass and Pick-Up Artistry Combine in a Futuristic Hellscape

Infinity Augmented Reality, a New-York based tech company currently working on some wacky technology stuff, has offered us a glimpse into the future. In the future, apparently, rich people will be able to don augmented reality glasses in order to accomplish a lot of cool guy things, such as playin’ pool with a computer on your face and drinkin’ whiskey with a computer on your face. Most terrifyingly, the company promises instantaneous, high-tech PUA creeping. Let us take a moment to gaze into the horizon and bellow, “NOPE.”

The Daily Dot quotes Infinity AR on its product plan:

Infinity AR’s software platform it will enable the use of such applications as facial, voice, and mood recognition. This futuristic phenomenon actually knows what you are doing, what you want, and when you want it based on information received from the connection to your smartphone or other mobile device.

According to the company’s promotional video, augmented reality glasses will be able to tell people about both things they can easily discern with their own bodies and/or common sense (e.g., “it’s temperate out!” and “do not drive into that truck in front of you!”) and things they have no right to know without asking. The promo centers around a Bond-esque Ideal Man of the Future, who drives a really fancy car and owns a million suits and is, inexplicably, sort of a pick-up artist.

At around one minute and 34 seconds in, the man of the future approaches the bar and proceeds to scan the face of a beautiful female bartender, which causes her Facebook page to pop up. From there, Future PUA realizes that she is a Gemini. “You don’t happen to be a Gemini, do you?” asks Future PUA. “What, how did you know?” wonders Beautiful Bartender, who does not know that her customer is wearing a computer processer inside of his stupid eyewear. The augmented reality program analyzes her voice indicates that she is “intrigued.” “Good,” thinks the PUA of the Future, mentally rubbing his hands together like a fly that has just landed upon your sandwich as he smugly utters, “Just a hunch.”

The potential technology being offered here is indubitably very cool, but the whole “trick women into having sex with you using your secret computer” fantasy is not. Expressing interest in a woman isn’t a stealth mission — you can literally JUST ASK HER what her star sign is, you don’t have to be a creep about it — and framing flirtation like some kind of weird knowledge-ambush plays into the regressive idea that men are naturally sexually predatory and women are naturally sexually withholding. It’s gross.

On the bright side, this is what the prototype looks like:

I haven’t seen something so woman-repellent since the invention of the fedora.