Photo: AP

But for the grace of God goes Queen Elizabeth, creeping late-night around the castle.

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According to the Times of London, a guard says he almost shot the Queen when he spotted her, clad in a raincoat “walking off her insomnia,” which sure sounds like a cover story for something much more interesting, but who I am to say.

On one occasion he was patrolling inside the perimeter of the Palace walls at 3 a.m. when he spotted a figure in the darkness. Thinking that he had come across an intruder, he shouted: “Who’s that?” To his surprise it was the Queen. “Bloody hell, Your Majesty, I nearly shot you,” he blurted out. Realising that he had spoken out of turn, he waited for a dressing-down. “That’s quite all right,” HM replied. “Next time I’ll ring through beforehand so you don’t have to shoot me.”

Sorry Prince Charlie, who will have to outlive Queen Elizabeth to make the procession to king. At least he got to marry Camilla in this lifetime.