God Help Me: I Watched the Esquire Network for 24 Hours StraightLindy West9/30/13 2:00pmFiled to: tvesquire networkniecy nashbrew dogstransporter 2knife fight26612EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkGIF As you already know if you are a sophisticated modern fancy-lad, Esquire (a.k.a. Condescending Neckties: The Magazine) has a television network now! Finally—a TV channel that MEN can enjoy. Looking to court "metrosexuals" turned off by "downmarket" male networks such as Spike and History (because history is male, apparently), the Esquire Network will focus on "cooking, fashion, politics, and so forth" with absolutely zero programs featuring grubby peasants digging through other people's trash. The Esquire Network, like its eponymous magazine, is hella hella classy.Fun fact: I, too, am classy! I own a solid maple (NOT particle board!) dining table and four wine glasses three wine glasses, you guys. I'm the man now, dog. And therefore, in order to gauge just how much manliness and class Esquire can pack into one television network, my boss ordered me to watch it for 24 hours nonstop (also because my boss hates me). Twenty-four hours. With no sleeping. Just me and Esquire. It would be a manly night indeed.