On Thursday, a couple hours after pharma-villain Martin Shkreli was arrested on suspicion of securities fraud, I looked up in the mirror and saw his face. Well, it wasn’t actually his face. It was my face, but for a heartbeat, I looked a lot like him, leading to this very important Q:

The answer, I think, is no. (I suffer from a very specific kind of face blindness where I sort of think I look like everyone. Like once on the subway, I startled for a second thinking I had been used in a subway ad when in fact I was looking at a photo of an Asian model. IDK.) But could I look like Martin Shkreli if I really wanted to? The answer, of course, is YES. And you can, too!

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To look like Martin Shkreli, all you need is a gray hoodie, a lack of conscience, and an exaggerated pug frown. Don’t go buy a gray hoodie, though—just borrow one from your coworker J.K. Trotter. Having Hitler bangs—in this instance and ONLY this instance—is a plus.

Do I look like Martin Shkreli?

Maybe a little?

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Why does this matter to me?

The best way to really give off the Martin Shkreli vibe is to A.) jack up the prices of in-demand, lifesaving medications and B.) inappropriately flirt with some teens. I do not have the power for A. and I am uncomfortable with B., so instead I just sent some creepy direct messages to Nicholas Stango, one of the youngest staffers at Gawker Media.

Do I look like Martin Shkreli?


Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.

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Images via Getty.