Get That Shot Before You Suck That Dick

So maybe you hate giving blowjobs. Maybe you love giving blowjobs. Either way, there’s something you might want to consider on the way to spit-or-swallowtown.

Researchers at Australia’s University of NSW have recently found that the increasing incidences of oesophageal cancer — especially in men — could be linked to our global obsession (?) with s-ing that d.

While having acid reflux has always been considered a risk factor for oesophageal cancer, it’s now believed that an even bigger issue is HPV:

Professor Rajendra’s team have found that a high proportion of those who progress to cancer have HPV in the oesophageal tissue. It still doesn’t prove cause and effect but is a startling finding that could in the future imply that only people with HPV in their Barrett’s [oesophagus, where the lining of the oesophagus has changed because of the acid assault] need to be followed up. It also could mean, now that boys are being immunised against some forms of HPV, that the incidence of oesophageal cancer will fall in about 20 years from now.

Maura Gillison, professor of Internal Medicine at Ohio State University in Columbus, claims that oropharynx cancers are rising in incidence, and the single greatest difference in behaviors between people who have the cancer and people who don’t is their oral sex habits. The more partners the person has, the more their risk of cancer increases. This is supported by five cross-sectional studies of oral HPV that find that the “single greatest factor associated with having an oral infection is the number of partners on whom a person has performed oral sex, and that the risk increases as the number of partners increases.”

While it’ll be easy for some people to go all moral police on this one and freak about the insane amont of blow jobs their teen is giving on the playground in return for blowpops and self-esteem (THANKS, OBAMA), it should be noted that the current HPV vaccines covers the common types of the virus seen in the mouth and throat. So, girls and boys, get that shot before you suck that dick. HPV awareness folks, you’re welcome to that slogan.