German Man Dies on Christmas Day Trying to Blow Up a Condom Machine 

A German man died on Christmas Day in what appears to have been a failed attempt to rob a condom machine by blowing it up. The man, 29, was hit in the head with a flying shard of metal. This is certainly a cautionary tale of some kind.

Reuters reports that the man, who has not been named, was taken to the hospital in the town of Schoeppingen, near the Dutch border, by his two accomplices in attempted condom-robbing. The man had sustained serious head injuries, which one of his buddies evidently told a doctor was due to a fall down the stairs. They didn’t believe him, and called the police, who were already investigating the incident after finding a blasted, gutted condom machine with smoke issuing from it and condoms and money scattered on the ground.

Under questioning, the two surviving men admitted they’d been trying to blow the machine up, and that their friend was hit in the head as he tried to take cover. The men said they had fled the explosion in a car. It’s unclear what they used to blow up the machine, or quite what they expected to happen.

Here’s a video of an evidently intact condom vending machine in Germany, in case any of us finds ourselves needing more information, somehow, than this story can provide:

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