Man, fuck this week. Is it Sunday yet? No? Fuck that.
Two bombs were planted among the jubilant spring crowds at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Fuck that.
Two women and an 8-year-old boy were killed. Fuck that.
More than 170 people were injured; many lost limbs. Fuck that.
In the ensuing panic, a bystander tackled an injured 2o-year-old Saudi man because he "thought he looked suspicious." Fuck that.
The Saudi man was widely publicized as a suspect, even though all he'd done was be brown near a bomb. His apartment was ransacked and his roommate was questioned for five hours. Fuck that.
The New York Post, eager to profit from still-smoking tragedy, made up a bunch of "scoops" out of whole cloth. Fuck that.
Reddit and 4chan attempted to "solve" the bombing by combing through high-res photos from the scene. Eventually, two of the men they fingered wound up—of course—on the fucking cover of the New York Post. Again, for being brown near a bomb. Fuck that.
Parents had to experience the horror of identifying their mangled children on the news. Fuck that.
The retaliatory hate crimes began. Fuck that.
The slavering hordes of Twitter blamed Obama for the bombing, because "Bush kept America safe for 8 years." Fuck that. (Also fuck the American education system.)
In other parts of the world this week, lots and lots of non-Americans were also injured by bombs. Fuck that.
Meanwhile, the Senate decided it didn't much care for expanded background checks on gun purchases. Fuck that.
They fucking filibustered. Fuck that.
A fertilizer plant in Texas exploded, killing at least 12 and injuring 200. Fuck that.
The plant hadn't had an OSHA inspection since 1985. Fuck that.
One unlucky man happened to witness both the Boston bombing and the plant explosion. Fuck that.
Half of the Midwest is under water. Fuck that.
In India, a 5-year-old girl is fighting for her life after being kidnapped and raped. Fuck that.
Conservative dickwads are already blaming the Boston bombing on your genitals. Fuck that.
This motherfucker said THIS. Fuck that.
The bombing suspects—finally identified—shot and killed a police officer on the MIT campus. Fuck that.
They carjacked an SUV and exchanged gunfire with police. One of the suspects was killed; the other is still at large. Fuck that.
The suspects are brothers. They are Muslim, from a region near Chechnya. On top of the typical Islamophobic hysteria, half of Twitter is gearing up to declare war on the Czech Republic. Fuck that.
We understand that this week is "bad" because a bunch of very bad things all happened at once. And we don't even know how to talk about it—let alone what we should do. And when we ask Congress, the people we've hired to do things, "What do we do?" their answer is "Oh, apparently nothing." The suspect who's still at large could go out tomorrow and buy another gun without a background check. And what can we do? Apparently nothing. And we encapsulate all of these things in the idea of a "bad week," even though, of course, people in other countries have "bad weeks" like this all the time, sometimes at our government's hands—yet another thing we feel helpless and guilty and confused about this week. And we're mad at each other for talking about it, and we're mad at each other for not talking about it. But it's not just a "bad week," is it? A "bad week" implies that next week is a sunny new week, a fresh start, and this week is closed. Over. But for a lot of people, life will be different, forever, starting now. September 11th wasn't just a "bad day." It was the first day of a different world. So fuck that too.
Fuck this week, and fuck all the other fuck-worthy weeks behind us and those still to come.
And with all those fucks out of the way, let's take a second to remember that people are amazing. People help. People do way more astounding, selfless, compassionate things than they do terrible, violent destructive things. Most people are good, and we also saw that this week.
In conclusion, WINE.
Fuck this update: Apparently this week was so bad I forgot to fucking mention that an Elvis impersonator MAILED POISON TO THE PRESIDENT. Fuck that too!!!