Between Gretchen Carlson's idiot suburban mom cosplay and her male cohosts' awkward attempts at amiable harumphing, Fox & Friends is rarely a non-awkward viewing experience. But a segment on today's episode that focused on a new line of "Daddy-approved" prom dresses really Got Weird.
The segment featured Duck Dynasty star Sadie Robertson, a lovely girl who seems sweet and who carries herself with remarkable poise and class for her age. This is not a post making fun of Sadie Robertson. YOU LEAVE SADIE ROBERTSON ALONE.
No, this is about 1- the concept of a "Daddy-approved" prom dress line and 2- the way that the hosts and producers of Fox & Friends spoke about Sadie Robertson's purity as it relates to her choice of school dance attire, like it's impossible to fuck in the back of a 16-year-old boy's car unless your cleavage is showing.
First, the "Daddy-approved" thing. I get that some teens have dads who are real dicks about the fact that their daughters start to look an awful lot like the grown women they don't respect. But why does it only matter if "Daddy" approves of how a young woman is representing herself (and, by extension, his parenting skills) when she leaves the house. Is "Mommy" standing off in the shadows stage whispering "Take off your panties if you ever want to find a husband!"? The notion that grown adult men are the stewards of their teen daughter's sexuality: kinda shuddersome.
Second, the way that the whole segment is. The selection of Sam Cooke's "Only Sixteen" — ONE OF THE MOST PEDO-TASTIC POP SONGS OF ALL TIME IF YOU LISTEN TO THE LYRICS — as backing music. That weird way Brian Kilmeade comments that one of the dresses might be a little "too short" as his eyes hungrily devour the youthful model wearing it. The way Brian Kilmeade answered the "Is this Daddy-Approved?" question. ("If ya can zip it back on!" Um.) The entire notion that a backless dress is "indecent," as designer Sherri Hill implied. The constant name-checking of Daddy. The fact that none of these dresses are even that different from anything you could buy in a store so why do they even... exist?
I understand that the parents of a teenager might hope their child doesn't go to prom humping a rusty wrecking ball chain in a fit of Miley envy. But — Christ — this obsession over the purity of teens is so weird and insulting. Worse than that, it's creepy.