Florida Woman Jailed After Fight Over Vibrator with Twin Sister

Hey, good news, everyone! Florida Woman is back in the news (it’s been ages; can’t wait to catch up, let’s do lunch). This time, it’s for getting into a vicious fight with her own twin sister over a vibrator.

According to police, Heidi Creamer of Bradenton got into a fight with her twin sister over a vibrator and her boyfriend. Things soon turned physical and Creamer assaulted her sister, punching and scratching her and pulling her hair. (This fight has to be over a rabbit, right? That’s the only one I can think that’s probably worth throwing a punch for.) Via the Orlando Sentinel, which I’m guessing covers a Florida vibrator fight once or twice a week:

Creamer stopped after a few minutes and began grabbing her personal belongings, stacking them outside the front door and stating that she wanted to leave, according to the affidavit. When Creamer exited the front door to place some items outside, her twin slammed the door and locked Creamer outside.

When police arrived, they handcuffed Creamer and put in her in a patrol car. As an officer read her rights, she screamed that “she was fighting with her sister over a vibrator and her boyfriend,” according to a police report. Sounds like the right thing to say when you’re about to be dragged off to jail.

Creamer was charged with domestic battery and released on bond. No one on what became of the vibrator, but I’m sure it’s at the forefront of everyone’s thoughts.