Truth: Some people are hot, some people are not, and male pilots and female physical therapists get the most action on Tinder. The speed-lust app with a penchant for instant aesthetic judgments released the top-most swiped professions for men and women, and the results prove that, when paired with an intriguing photo, users have some interesting ideas about what makes someone look exciting at a glance.
Over at the Tinder blog, they explain that in the last three months, they allowed users to include jobs and educational details in Tinder profiles. Data for those three months (November 2015 to January 2016) found that when it comes to jobs that garner the swipes, there are some patterns. The results:
It doesn’t take too much effort to parse why these professions would get preverbal swipe heat when playing quick picks of the loins. These are all positions that, for men, demonstrate the most traditional markers of the gender—ambition, adventurousness, heroism are all in demand for signaling masculinity. The top professions for women do precisely the same for femininity—they indicate, whether accurately or not, a certain kind of openness, creativity, plus nurturing yet sexy times. But there’s perception, and reality, and with every profession listed here, there’s certainly a downside. Let’s break down the pros and cons of each profession’s appeal for Tinder hookup potential.
Even though they’re notoriously underpaid, they are synonymous with jetsetting, travel, aviators, and winking, confident smiles. They harken back to a bygone era of easy confidence, thousand-watt charm, and nostalgia for “men’s men” and the high glam of flying. If you’re not looking for anything serious, you could do a lot worse than hook up with someone who’s worldly and skilled at light banter.
Fantasy: Nuanced command of the controls
Reality: Old-fashioned moves; has to be somewhere very early; may narrate sex highlights in real time.
The founder/entrepreneur takes risks. He’s daring. He’s bold. He’s possibly very rich. He puts himself out there, loves a brilliant idea, and is excited by adventure and new experiences.
Fantasy: Unafraid to go down, in the boardroom or the bedroom.
Reality: For every stroke of genius, there’s a banana in the tailpipe.
He’s a humble beefcake who spends his working days rescuing cats, old ladies, entire sections of national forests. If you want a boy next door with a striking six-pack, the firefighter is a loyal, true, solid bet.
Fantasy: He knows how to use that hose.
Reality: The hose has two settings: off and firehose.
He went to a good school; he knows how to make the grade; he literally saves people with his bare hands.
Fantasy: “Does it hurt here? No? Here?” Pleasant bedside manner.
#5 TV/Radio Personality
He’s charming, gregarious, witty, and can improvise. Being good on TV or on the air means having a presence, not to mention a resonant voice and possibly excellent head of hair.
Fantasy: Gives great voice.
Reality: Loves only the sound of his.
We’re all hot for teacher. A man who teaches is a man who loves not only knowledge for knowledge’s sake, but the imparting of that knowledge for the sake of future generations. He toils to elevate his students into evolved, critical thinkers. He’s intellectual but accessible.
Fantasy: Versed in using his protractor.
Reality: Won’t grade on a curve.
He builds things and those things require math, skill, and precision. If he’s a mechanical engineer, he understands how things work. If he’s a civil engineer, he understands humanity.
Fantasy: Structurally sound.
Reality: He does it by the numbers.
Zoolander aside, male models must not get be too bad off if they’re showing up in the top 10 most swiped. Being hella photogenic can’t hurt.
Fantasy: A Tinder date you can take home to (insta)gram.
Reality: 5th grade reading level.
These frat boys of the medical set are adrenaline junkies who love the thrill of the chase.
Fantasy: He’ll always be your first responder.
Reality: He only likes to ride in the back.
#10 College Student
He’s young, he’s cute, he’s studious, he’s wide-eyed.
Fantasy: Eager to learn.
Reality: Will have roommate across the room pretending to be asleep.
#1 Physical Therapist
While physical therapy doesn’t seem quite as exciting as piloting planes around the country or world, I suppose it makes sense by gendered expectations. A physical therapist is a committed, caring, nurturing rehabilitator of the injured. It’s a more hands-on nurse, if you will.
Fantasy: Can do it over and over all night.
Reality: Gets repetitive.
#2 Interior Designer
She has an eye for detail and great taste.
Fantasy: Great rug.
Reality: Edits everything.
A lady entrepreneur is a smart, hard-charging woman who’s part of one of the fastest-growing segments of the population.
Fantasy: Exciting growth opportunities.
Reality: May be too focused on the bottom line.
She’s an articulate, highly adaptable professional.
Fantasy: Good at word of mouth.
Reality: You may not even realize you’re being rejected.
The lady teacher fetish is as old as the Socratic method, but we get it: Teachers are smart, nurturing, and authoritative.
Fantasy: Very patient and giving.
Reality: Expects feedback.
#6 College Student
Hey wait, how does this count as a profession? Regardless, the lady college student is not looking for anything too serious and is still relatively baggage-free.
Fantasy: Up for anything.
Reality: Could be in a cult.
#7 Speech Language Pathologist
Facilitating language abilities seems sexy enough, but all bets point to this career designation triggering oral fixations in male swipers.
Fantasy: Language of love, baby.
Reality: Hears that all damn day.
This is about the lab coat.
Fantasy: Dispenses sexy.
Reality: Under the lab coat is just yoga pants.
#9 Social Media Manager
Fun, keyed in, well-versed in social media branding and promotion makes for a fun hookup.
Fantasy: #hashtag #handjob
Reality: Wittier than you.
As with male models, we can assume female models are about as swipable as it gets on Tinder—if not, they wouldn’t be good models, would they?
Reality: Has 1,459 other matches pending if you’re boring.