Fake Hufflepuff House Loses Its Shit When Real Badger Menaces Campus

Rarely does so perfect an opportunity to make fun of the sprawling, beloved world of Harry Potter emerge than it did in these past two weeks when an uncommonly large — one might say freakishly large — badger hauled its fuzzy bulk onto the ground of Folkestone School for Girls in Folkestone Kent, which is clearly code for Hufflepuff House. The badger has since caused quite a stir, inciting what the Telegraph has decided to call a wave of “hysteria” at Folkestone School for Girls. Yup, it just had to go there.

The badger has apparently been disturbed by recent construction, and its hulking presence is now “causing hysteria” among the young girls attending Folkestone. That’s understandable — large, sharp-clawed weasels should be regarded with caution. Hysteria does seem like a poor word choice, but, then again, a big enough badger could probably annihilate a small enough child, so what we’re really seeing at Folkestone is the a group of humans getting uncomfortably close to dropping down a rung in the food chain.