Duuuude: Salma Hayek Considered Her Baby Weight a 'Disfigurement'

“I gained so much weight, I got an opportunity to see myself completely disfigured in many different ways – for a very good reason – and I don’t regret it for a second. That’s when I started appreciating my body. The things that I used to criticize, they were not that bad after all.”

“Disfigured!” Holy shit. I am hoping that this is some sort of language issue, because she goes on:

“We’ve got to fight for our confidence every day in modern life because we live in a society that is very harsh to women… You have to be smart and successful and a good mother and beautiful and young and skinny forever.”

One of us, gooble gobble, one of us. [The Mirror]

• Paris Jackson hates Justin Bieber because he didn’t try to talk those cut4bieber girls out of self-harming. [TMZ]
• Haha, I would be fucking TERRIFIED to leak Yeezus. I feel like Kanye West has a gimp in his basement to fuck up bootleggers like the one in Pulp Fiction. [TMZ]
• Ostensibly broken-up Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson were seen holding hands in Los Angeles. [NYDN]
• A video might clear J’Biebs’ name in that speeding charge. That’s so Law and Order. [Page Six]
• Gene Wilder considers the Johnny Depp Willy Wonka remake an “insult.” Let’s just all take a second. [NYDN]
• Again with that “privacy” thing, Kimye. A “small, intimate” wedding? Sure. [Page Six]
• The saga of Flava Flav’s “poisoned” fried chicken joint continues, in four part harmony. [TMZ]
• Michelle Monaghan is pregnant with her second child. [People]
• Stephen Colbert’s mom has passed away at 92. Sympathies. [People]
• Krysten Ritter will appear in the Veronica Mars movie! Hopefully not to choke on her own heroin-OD-induced puke and die. [Us Weekly]
• “Hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua.” Charlie Sheen to Farrah Abraham. [NYDN]
• “So for a old train wreck like yourself you sit in your own pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life, enjoy your dwindle.” Farrah Abraham to Charlie Sheen. Love is in the air, everywhere I look around. [Radar Online]
• Robert Downey Jr. disappointed a small child. Somewhere up in heaven, an angel queefed. [NYDN]
• Beyonce settled up with a video game company for backing out of a dance game called Starpower: Beyonce. [Page Six]
• If you were wondering, and I KNOW you were, Miley Cyrus loves “hood music.” “A lot of people wanted to try to make me the white Nicki Minaj. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I love ‘hood’ music, but my talent is as a singer.” Enjoy your dwindle. [Us Weekly]

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