Here is your new favorite cover of Frozen showstopper "Let It Go." It is a bombastic rendition retitled "Just Don't Go," written by an Ohio traffic reporter and replacing the original lyrics with reasons not to leave your home in wintery weather.

The Daily Dot reports that this genuinely delightful video is the work of Cincinnati's Bob Herzog, who regularly does a "Dance Party Friday" segment. (It is the local news at is most gloriously cheesy.) Last week, inspired by yet another bout of severe weather and weeks of watching "Let It Go" covers on YouTube with his own daughter, Herzog took his own crack at the song made famous by Broadway's Idina Menzel.

We're not talking 30 seconds of jokey warbling, either. This is a full production, complete with b-roll footage of cars sliding around on snowy roads and also the jogger who fell on her butt. Herzog really gives it his senior-in-his-last-high-school-play best, complete with twirls and VERY LARGE HAND GESTURES. "I played it for my kids last night, not the video but just the audio, and my son Sam just looked at me, and I think there was shame in his eyes," he told his coworkers.

All the while, school closings scroll past on the crawl underneath. Spring needs to get here ASAP because America is losing it.

(h/t Flavorwire)